My natural birth story

I’ve been dying to write and tell you my natural birth story. My first birth story. It was easily my most intense experience in my life thus far, and yet, as birth stories go, mine was relatively straight-forward.  And I mean that with gratitude, as everything went swimmingly, although it was a long and painful process. I feel like jotting it down will help me in remembering all the small details to cherish the event in its full glory in the future. Because of course, I know I won’t forget how I felt when I gave birth to my firstborn, Adriana Isabel. But I was in labor for 24 hours and 10 minutes, without the use of any anesthesia (yup!). And A LOT happened in that time. So let’s take a few steps back….

The days before

Isabel’s due date was December 29th. We had been impatiently waiting for signs that indicated labor was near, even more, because my family had flown from different parts of the world to spend the holidays with us and meet the baby.  Of course for them to meet the baby, she’d first have to be, well… born. They were only going to stay for 2 weeks though, and in that 2-week window, Isabelita could’ve perfectly stayed inside me and all would have been fine medically. But that would have caused major frustration among my globetrotting family, as the fateful meeting of the baby was the real purpose of their trip. I was doing all I could to give my baby a nudge to come outside; drinking buckets of raspberry leaf tea, walking like crazy, eating spicy foods, etc., the works!  Nothing. Nada. I think I didn’t even have regular Braxton-Hicks (also called “fake contractions” which occur days/weeks before labor), since people have described them to be a bit painful and I had only felt my stomach lightly tighten a few times a day. So yes, to my dismay, Christmas was spent with a huge belly that wouldn’t let me indulge as much as I wished for dinner.

On December 26th we went to my regular prenatal checkup and the doctor told me that my cervix wasn’t even ripe and it looked as if the baby was going to come out after the new year. I told my parents and they even started looking to extend their plane tickets. “It’s fine! The baby will come out when she’s ready,” they assured me.  And they meant it, but I could still sense the impatience of two beautiful parents yearning for their graduation to GRANDparents.

Fast-forward to two days later. A regular night was ending when I got up to pee at about 6:20 am and, as I neared the toilet…“hold on a second, this doesn’t seem like pee”… And something started flowing out of me. My water had just broken.

I had never felt so weird! Lots of liquid – amniotic fluid to be precise – was flowing out of me like crazy. It’s not like in the movies, when you see a woman suddenly create a big splash on the floor… it actually is a slower process though I did end up leaving a small puddle because I stood still for a minute, trying to process what was happening, keep my cool and think about the next step. I quickly woke up Álvaro, my husband, and told him: this is it! I then woke up my parents telling them it was time to move. They woke up in a heartbeat, my brothers and sister too and we all hopped in the car with haste. I started getting really anxious but luckily we were staying close to the hospital and I wasn’t having any contractions… I felt lucky at the moment but little did I know that wasn’t an advantage.

The first 12 hours

I got to the triage area of Sharp Mary Birch Hospital and they admitted me after a few minutes wait – usually the hospital prefers you’ve dilated to at least 4 cm before they admit you, but once your water breaks the baby is vulnerable to infections so the norm is to let you in right away to monitor everything. They checked my pressure and baby’s heartbeat, everything seemed to be fine. But the cervix was still closed, very tightly shut. We spent almost 2 hours in triage waiting to get to my delivery room upstairs since the hospital was pretty packed – lots of momma’s wanted to deliver before the year ended! There, I managed to grab a bite and have a “complete” breakfast before going up: Cheerios, egg, and sausage were part of the last meal I had before the baby’s debut. From then on, it would only be strawberry jelly for mama. The hospital staff also started administering a drug called Pitocin, to help the cervix ripen and to get me started with contractions and I finally started feeling them within the hour. They weren’t painful at the beginning, just bothersome. Alvaro kept me company from the very start, something very important in helping me keep my cool.

The first 12 hours of labor went by excruciatingly slowly. And by that, I mean only 1cm-dilation in a freaking half-day. Yup, even if I envisioned that the now-painful contractions were slowly but surely helping me progress and that I was going to be able to hold my baby soon… I couldn’t be farther from reality. I asked the nurse and she felt bad to tell me 12 hours had passed by and I had only dilated 1 cm. Boy, was this a disappointment! I could’ve given up my strengths right there, but luckily I have the most amazing husband and family and they cheered me on. And of course, there was no turning back now so I just forced myself to continue moving forward, one contraction at a time.

One of the things I remember the most from my long labor was the fact that I couldn’t eat anything – nurses say it’s usually better since some people throw up with contractions and pushing. To me it was terrible. All they could give me were apple juice and Jell-O. I ate about 9 cups of Jell-O in a period of 4 hours, to try and feed my hunger for a proper lunch and dinner. To my dismay, they only had one flavor – strawberry! I also couldn’t drink too much water… I know these are all just safety measures, but to me they were torture at the time.

Pulling an all-nighter

In the evening, contractions started getting stronger after a second and third dose of Pitocin, so I started practicing the breathing techniques I’d learned in prenatal classes. Along with breathing, something that helped ease my pain was looking into people’s eyes. Don’t ask me why, but for some reason, it helped me concentrate. I remember being very demanding to my husband and my parents whenever they held my hand. As soon as a contraction started coming in, I yelled: “Here it comes! LOOK at me!”. They say vocalizing the pain helps and so I did; nothing too extreme, but moaning at the beginning of the contraction and then focusing on breathing techniques helped a lot. 4-5 hours more went by and I was FINALLY at 4cm. Better, though not even halfway!

If my memory doesn’t fail me, that’s when they set me up with a cool wireless baby heart-rate monitor. This made a big difference since it allowed me to walk a bit more freely, even if it was just to stroll around a few meters away from my room. Other things that helped me during those long hours were jumping up and down in the yoga ball. At one point during the whole ordeal I remember the nurse teaching me how to use the peanut ball: though funny-looking, it apparently helps to open up more with each strong contraction.

Another thing they recommended to me was to try and get some rest. Those who have an epidural anesthesia can do this more easily, as it helps lower the pain of contractions. I, on the other hand, had opted-OUT of an epidural. Many of my friends were shocked to know I wasn’t going to use an epidural, but I actually didn’t have much choice: my insurance didn’t cover it and the injection was pretty expensive even if I ordered it beforehand (if you ask for it on the same day, it’s twice as expensive!). So it was going to be a natural birth for me, “yay”! Even with the excruciating pain, I was amazed at how I could easily doze off for 2 minutes in between contractions. This meant my body was already very tired, but here’s where mind over body comes in: the thought of meeting my baby kept me strong and hopeful.  

Midnight came with the worst contractions – this time I wasn’t shouting only at the beginning but throughout the whole thing. I was also holding my husband’s hand, gripping his fingers his so tight he had trouble articulating them afterward. “It’s okay,” he’d tell me. “Break my fingers if it helps you, I just want to meet our baby!” My parents were amazed at us, working together with the soothing melodies of Ennio Morricone and Katie Melua in the background (Alvaro had made a Spotify playlist of relaxing songs), and enduring so many hours of pain even after not getting time to rest.  I was amazed at my family, my parents, brothers, and sister, who were at the hospital and didn’t want to leave the waiting room even after realizing this was going to take forever. I was even more surprised of my sister, who managed to focus and grade papers while in the waiting room! Talk about multi-tasking!

This is it. Start your engines!

The hours before I started pushing all seem like a blur now so I only remember a crazy urge to push and me telling the nurse that I might need to go to the bathroom for #2 since I hadn’t gone in a day. She grinned and replied: “that’s not poop, that is your baby!”. She told me I was already at 10-cm dilation and that she was going to ask the Dr. if I could start with the pushing. Commencing countdown, engines on…They cleaned the room, prepared everything (so many tools!) and suddenly about 3-4 nurses joined in the party. That’s when I also said goodbye to my parents (the room was big, but we had agreed this moment was only going to be shared among my husband and I). They left the room with that magical feeling that the next time they’d walk in, their first grandchild would be waiting for them.  It was finally happening!

My doctor wasn’t coming and I was ready so thanks to Nurse Lisa I started pushing. Man, I’ve never felt such a crazy painful and burning sensation! Nonetheless, the urge kept me pushing hard. The Dr. came in and continued giving me directions “take a deep breath, and push.” The nurse asked me if I wanted to see the process with a mirror – before this day I had thought of this as disgusting and totally something I’d never do… but I agreed to it and it actually wasn’t that bad! In fact, it helped me see the progress I was making with each push – it was frustrating at times because I thought I was pushing harder and my baby’ little head seemed to be in the same place. I heard the doctor say, very surprised: “SO MUCH HAIR!”. And indeed, she had a full set!

After 30 minutes of crazy pushing, thinking each was the last one, at 6:34am, Adriana Isabel came busting out into the world. The moments right after passed by as if in slow-motion. I saw my baby in the air, they clamped her umbilical cord and immediately handed her over to me. All I could think was : this little chubby beautiful person is mine! She was warm and her eyes were closed, my husband held me and touched her. He cried with uncontainable joy. I was too awestruck to even cry. I started talking to her, repeating ”Hola preciosa, hola linda”, completely swooned by her mellow presence, the calm after the storm. I’m not sure how many minutes passed but while I was in this love-bubble with my baby, I apparently delivered the placenta (yup, you still have to do that with the help of a couple more tough contractions!) and the doctor did a few stitches since I had teared a bit down there. I didn’t notice a thing – my whole self was concentrated on my baby, on her face and first squeals. I’d never felt so complete.

I regained composure and we told my family to come in. Everyone started crying with joy. My parents were such “crybabies,” but hey, it’s understandable since my daughter is their first grandchild and they’d been waiting for one for a long time. Something that made the event extra special was that it was my dad’s birthday too, and we all just started singing happy birthday to both baby Isa and him.

I have no idea why, probably because of the lack of strength after such a “marathonic“ feat, but I didn’t feed baby right away, I forgot! The nurses left her on my chest for about half an hour but I was in such awe that I just hugged her. Then they took her, cleaned her and left her in a bassinet right next to us. An hour or so after delivery we were discharged to the upstairs room and I finally nursed Isabel. I was a bit weirded out with this first feeding, as I had never thought I was fit to breastfeed (TMI but I have very small boobs!). Fortunately, baby girl didn’t seem to mind a bit; she latched on like she’d done this before, ate, looked satisfied and fell asleep afterward. I finally got to close my eyes for a little while, happy to have my two loves close in the same room.

If I think back on the things that helped me ease the pain the most, I believe they were:

• The hope of meeting my baby after all the long wait.
• My husband, his love, amazing disposition and strength and humor, yes, even his dad-jokes! Staring into his eyes and seeing how much he loved me and how he stood the pain I was causing him was one of the things that gave me most strength.
• My faith, the strength that came from it because it kept me sure that anything that needed to happen was going to happen and that God only wanted the best for my baby and for us.
• The commitment I’d made to myself of offering the pain I was going through for other causes and people who were in a worse state than I was, such as a friend who’s battling cancer (Kyrzayda, an amazing woman!).
• Thinking about each contraction on its own, knowing they each followed a similar pattern and just focusing on enduring them one at a time. Believe me, it helps!
• The support of my parents and siblings – as a typical Latino family, they were all there, present and offering jokes and distractions throughout the whole process.
• The amazing disposition and personality of the nurse staff at Sharp Mary Birch Hospital. It truly makes a difference when you feel like you can be best friends with the nurse who’s managing you! And smiles, smiles help SO much!  

After two lovely yet sleep-deprived nights at the hospital (baby was feeding on demand, not even 2 hours apart sometimes) we were sent home with the furriest, cutest baby girl you could’ve met. Not going to lie, my body was aching and everything up and down hurt. I had some trouble working out the logistics of breastfeeding, but Isabelita is now eating like a pro, and I’m happy to be her sole source of food. That story is for another blog post, and all I can say is that I’ve realized all pain is worth it as soon as I stare into my baby’s big brown eyes. She gives me immense joy!

It’s crazy to think that just a few hours after all the madness started I was super impatient, and yet oblivious to the rollercoaster of emotions and experiences that my natural labor would bring. It’s even crazier if I consider how I went through all of it without any medication (ha!). But then I remember everything comes in due time, and God had planned for everything to occur in the way it did. He allowed us to partake in a miracle, to hold, keep, and nurture a little angel, who will for sure become a wonderful human being. I feel so grateful to have found such strength to live this moment, and I am still amazed by what the female body (and spirit!) can go through!

I loved sharing my natural birth story with you, and I hope it’s something that can benefit you or someone you know. Please let me know if you had a similar experience or if you are expecting and have any doubts! I’d love to return the favors life has given me and help others, since it was thanks to the support of others that I lived the crazy ordeal that is pregnancy and labor in a nice way. I’m grateful to have experienced the miracle that is creating life and giving birth, and I wish you get to feel this amount of happiness at least once in your life.